I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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