he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
