hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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