I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
