So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
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I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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