how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
