The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
