Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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