My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My dick has a subreddit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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