I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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