Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
