Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My penis needs a shock collar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
