Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
