God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
