all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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