just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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