Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
