No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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