Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
