Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
