Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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