I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it glows. i had to have it.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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