But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize