I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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