He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
