what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
