Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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