I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
