Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize