She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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