I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
