Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
