Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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