I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize