Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
