I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
