i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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