Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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