OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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