umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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