Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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