this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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