dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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