I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize