i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
