discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
