I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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