just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He shit in the fireplace
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
