Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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