margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
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I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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