i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Man, jail baloney is awful.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
