Plan B is the new Plan A
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
