grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
