Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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