Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
