I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we're making bets on your personal life
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize
