It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
