Non-Jews are for practice
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
