I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
