Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
