you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
