Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
