Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
